Woman Caught Stealing in Ulta Was Wearing One of Those Masks That Make You Look Like a Duck

YORKTOWN HEIGHTS, New York—

• A Hudson Valley woman busted stuffing a reusable shopping bag with over $75 worth of cosmetics was wearing one of those N95 respirator masks that makes you look like a duck at the time of the attempted theft, according to a police report released Wednesday morning.

• Health experts recommend N95 masks in the fight to slow the spread of the omicron Covid-19 variant, but warn that even the highest-quality "duckbill" masks should be avoided by anyone who cares about what they look like in public.

Thirty-six-year-old data entry assistant Lynn Brandt made local headlines on Monday after being escorted out of an Ulta Beauty store in Yorktown Heights by police who had been tipped off by one of Jefferson Valley Mall's three security officers. According to a police report released earlier today, she confessed to the attempted theft of lip gloss, lip balm, tinted lip balm, lip stain, lip oil, and tinted lip oil—adding up to a total of $77.98 plus tax. She was caught in the act by mall security officer Steven John when he looked up briefly from his Wordle puzzle.

"I was getting really frustrated with the game that day," John told us in a Zoom interview just hours after Yorktown PD posted the official report on the Department's Twitter. "I mean, I never skip a day, but it really gets frustrating sometimes, you know?"

"So I looked to my left and then to my right, as I do every half hour or so, and I saw this woman wearing one of those masks that makes you look like a duck. This was my first time stationed at the makeup store and my first thought was, 'Why is she shopping for lipstick when her mouth is going to be covered all the time by a mask that makes her look like a duck anyway?' I just assumed no one had been buying lip products much since the mask mandate. Something didn't add up."

"I just assumed no one had been buying lip products much since the mask mandate. Something didn't add up."

Rather than confront Ms. Brandt unnecessarily, John decided to alert a sales associate, who when reached for comment by phone told us only, "If you're not gonna pay me I truly do not give a fuck," and then asked that we not print her name.

"I said to the salesgirl, 'Look at that lady in the duckbill mask; she's been in the store a long time looking at lip makeup, but why?' And she just sighed and told me that some customers are so addicted to makeup they don't even care that no one will see it. She told me, 'It's a real addiction for these people. We call them collectors. We see it occasionally, when we have customers.' I asked her if she thought someone who'd be caught dead in one of those duck masks could be a beauty addict, and she said definitely."

"I asked her if she thought someone who'd be caught dead in one of those duck masks could be a beauty addict, and she said definitely."

John walked back over to Ms. Brandt, who he says was holding up both a matcha hydrating lip quencher and a green tea moisturizing lip veil as if trying to discern the difference. It was then, he said, that he saw her shrug her shoulders and drop both items into a wrinkled tote bag with the words "Self-Care is Everything" emblazoned on it and embellished with subtle botanical flourishes. He approached her with a smile out of habit—even though she could not see it behind his blue surgical mask—and asked if she would like a shopping basket.

"I could see her breathing become more heavy, because the sort of duckbill thing was moving more, like in and out. It looked really disturbing actually." He continued, "She told me she was fine, and I didn't press her any further. People shop with those reusable bags a lot, and they're not always gonna steal. But when I saw her walking toward the exit, and I knew she hadn't paid for anything, that's when I really got suspicious. And I finally guessed the word, so I quickly shared my result to Facebook and then I just did my job." 

"But when I saw her walking toward the exit, and I knew she hadn't paid for anything, that's when I really got suspicious."

John called the Yorktown Police Department, but he knew police would not arrive before the woman left the property. 

"So I stopped her right at the store entrance and I asked her, 'Is that an N95 mask or a KN95?' I asked her where she got it, if she knew the manufacturer, how she felt it compared to cloth masks, surgical masks—every kind of mask I could think of. I had to keep her there. So I went for it. I asked her if she thought it made her look like a duck. She laughed nervously, didn't answer the question, and said she had to pick up her son from racquetball practice at the club, but it bought me just enough time, because the cops arrived right that second." 

A spokesperson for Ulta Beauty, Inc. declined to comment on any pending litigation but provided us with this statement via WhatsApp: 

"Mask-ne is real. Whatever type of mask you choose, come visit us at a store or on our website to learn about caring for the delicate skin behind it." ⃞

<3 @socuratedblog