5 Reasons It's Okay to Watch Riverdale Even Though You're Smart

Jasmine Baggins

Here at My So-Curated Life, we believe that self-care is really important. Sometimes that means doing things that are good for you, like eating kale and stretching and telling the terrified voices in your head to be quiet for a couple of hours so you can perform basic human functions before succumbing to exhaustion.

But sometimes self-care means turning your brain off for a little bit so you don’t have to think about the sociopaths running our country into the ground, or bills. That’s why— even though we’re all super smart and some of us have even studied the finer points of reading, writing and dramatic structure in institutions of higher learning— we think it’s okay, nay, even healthy, to watch poorly written TV. Thus, my defense of Riverdale.

1. It’s totally unrelatable, which makes it a perfect escape from the pre-apocalyptic countdown we’re living in.

Frankly, art that comes from a real place can be hard to have to engage with in times like these. So I don't mind at all that no one in history has ever had a life that was anything like what is depicted in Riverdale: two to three murderers, a gothic anti-heroine, money laundering, a gang war, three to four up-and-coming musicians, a football team, cheerleaders, all of the adults sleeping together, incest, two serious and hard-hitting school newspapers, a drug called "jingle jangle," a bunch of high school boys posing shirtless with masks on to look menacing, teenage girls consuming copious milkshakes with no concern for the body pressure that is 2017 society, and no homework.

2. They made an effort with diversity! Kind of!

So yeah, Archie Comics were pretty white and straight back in the pre-Tumblr era. But Kevin Keller being introduced as Archie’s gay friend was a pretty big deal, and he's even had one or two black friends throughout the years. Seeing as those comics have been synonymous with “simpler times” (if you know what I mean), it’s impressive that they’ve tried this hard at all. 

Riverdale steps it up by giving Kevin a bigger role from the beginning; and by changing Veronica and her parents, Josie and her parents, Valerie, Reggie, Weatherbee, Melody, and Pop to people of color. Are all of these characters (with the exception of Veronica) used most frequently as plot devices, or else given a bland, uninteresting modicum of power to reinforce the show’s liberal stance without having to give them significant agency? Yes. But again, this isn’t a good show. We’re just saying you could be watching something worse.


3. There are hilariously amazing covers.

Is it just me, or does Spotify stress you out? With so many new TV shows, skincare products, and meal prep lifehacks I need to try, do they really need to suggest new music to me? I need the comfort of the same songs I’ve been listening to since I heard them on Total Request Live if I’m going to make this deadline, thank you. I don’t need nor desire to expand my musical horizons.

Luckily, Riverdale has me covered. Even though Archie and the Pussy Cats occasionally write and perform original songs, the most iconic moments are when they perform covers. Everything from Rent, to pop hits, to The Archies’ own "Sugar, Sugar" to... well, that’s pretty much it. And it rocks. One time Betty did a striptease to "Mad World." It made no sense! Truly, truly, glorious.


4. Girl Power, baby!

(La_Lioness on Reddit. Link CW: sexual violence)

When I used to read Archie comics as a child, I had very little interest in the boys (I said I was smart, right?). It was always Betty and Veronica, with a guest pass to whatever other female character the writers invited me to care about that day. Happily, this trashfire teen drama seems to understand that. 

The main storyline Riverdale allows its female characters to have together is kicking the crap out of men who would try to abuse them, and looking obligatorily hot while doing it. This is particularly socially relevant and we love it, though I admit that watching too much Riverdale does make me want to get my eyebrows done and try on new shades of lipstick. 

But at least they’re being transparent about the cult of beauty worship. I appreciate a show that doesn’t pretend.


5. There are worse things you could be doing, so who are they to shame your choice of me-time activity? Your mom?

(@oldfilmsflicker on Giphy)

Look, I am trying here. I go to the gym three times a week. I try to drink eight glasses of water a day (and pee like fourteen times because of that). I joined a book club! Hell, I even tried meditation for like a month. Are you really going to tell me I can’t watch Riverdale just because I was in the Gifted Program as a child? Come on, give me a break. I am 32. Not only can I not afford to stop renting, but my landlord won’t even let me have a cat. What else am I supposed to do to get through my bouts of sadness after I’ve compared my paycheck against my credit card bill? How can I talk to my coworkers or random strangers I meet at parties whom I’ve no clue how else to connect with if I can’t mention Veronica’s eyebrows? 

I mean, really. It’s just TV.